A change is gonna come

Today …today is the black day of my soul, a day when I feel nothing. No pain, no regrets, no joy. My soul is stoned and my heart empty, with no trace of hope or light. I have lost myself in the darkness. I am lost and cannot find my way back. I am surrounded by tremendous fear. I feel like screaming, I feel like shouting for help. But from whom? There is no one around. I am alone in this dark world and I am afraid…
I wonder if there is real love. That love that I have heard of. The kind of love that you feel in every single part of your body. That makes you blossom. That makes you grow and be happy. I want to feel it. I want to feel every single drop of it invading my body, just like a perfusion. I want to surrender, to let go and give myself to this feeling, completely. Will I ever be able to do it? Will I ever find it?
Maybe I cannot love….maybe love is just not for me…

…and we have reached a verdict, your honor….this woman’s heart is deficient. She loves but her love is worth nothing…