This is for the contemporary adults….pseudo – intellectuals…that means most of us
They say that everyday one must eat an apple for fibers and iron and a banana for potassium.
Also one must eat an orange for vitamin C, half a melon for a good digestion and drink a cup of green tea, no sugar added, to prevent diabetes…!
Everyday, one must drink 2 l of water ( and then wait double the time it took you to drink the 2 l)
Everyday one must eat a yogurt to get that "L.Cassei Defensis". By the way nobody knows what the fuck that is, but apparently, if you don’t eat yoghurt every day you will start seeing things kinda blurry.
Everyday one should take an aspirin and drink a glass of red wine to prevent a heart attack. And why not one more glass of white wine for the nervous system. Oh …and one more glass of beer…but I already don’t remember what this one is for..
If you drink them all together, even you have a stroke, you don’t bother and probably you don’t even care anymore.
Everyday you have to eat fibers. Lots and lots of fibers. You have to cook 4-6 light meals per day without forgetting to chew 100 times each bite. Making a small calculus, we get about 5 h/day for eating only.
Oh, and don’t forget: you have to brush your teeth after every meal, which is:
after the Activia Yoghurt and fibers – brush your teeth, after the banana, after the apple and so on and so forth. That is if you have your teeth. Also, don’t forget to floss, massage the gums and wash away with water mouth…( I’d say you’d better fill in the bathtub and put on some music…because in between the water, fibers and teeth, you will definitely spend some time here)
If you’re one of the lucky ones sleeping 8h and working 8h more, plus the 5h we use for eating…that’s already 21h. You have only 3h left and during these hours something unexpected can always happen. Looking at the statistics, we are watching the TV an average of 3h per day.
Well, honestly, this cannot be possible, as we have to walk at least 30 minutes per day(meaning you leave home and go back after 15 minutes sharp…otherwise you’ll get 1h of walking)
And you have to keep your friends close as they are like plants: they need to be watered daily. And when you’re on holiday….you need to do the same.
Above all these you have to be very well informed, therefore you need to read at least 2 newspapers and certain magazine articles to compare the information.
Oh, and the most important: you need to have sex daily but without turning it into a routine: be creative and renew seduction. And this takes time. And boy there is no need to speak about tantric sex!!! ( I respectfully remind you that you need to brush your teeth!!)
What else? Oh, you need to clean, wash dishes, do the laundry and if you have a dog or another animal…well..you’re doomed. Anyone has kids?
Anyways, at a final countdown, I would need 29h per day.
The only possibility that goes through my mind would be to do more things at a time.
For example: shower with cold water with your mouth open. You’ll drink the 2l of water this way.
While you go out of the shower, while brushing the teeth, you go have sex (tantric one) – do it while standing. Meanwhile your partner can watch the TV and tell you what is going on and you can swap the floor. You have a free hand? Call your friends. And your parents!!! Drink the wine ( you will need after the conversation with your parents)
Your partner can feed you the yoghourt and the apple while he is eating the banana and Activia. Switch tomorrow.
And now I have to go…’cause in between the yoghourt, half a melon, beer the 1st l of water and the 3rd fiber meal of the day, I don’t know what else to do, but I need to use the toilet urgently.
I’ll take advantage of this and take the toothbrush with me:)))
